After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
