Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Life is so much better after having sex.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
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