would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
