The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
