My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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