But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
