We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
