Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
