I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
