so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
