i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
