Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
