I'm really into asian looking animals
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
