3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Is it because I queefed?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
