Someone shit on the floor
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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