You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
