You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
