Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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