that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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