the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
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