I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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