We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize