After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Randomize
