If i come over, it means nothing
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
