We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
