the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
We are two peas in an std pod
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I stole a fireplace last night.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
