How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Randomize
