ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
