6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Come on in and take your pants off
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