so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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