shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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