Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
