You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
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