she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
