guys are only as good as the porn they watch
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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