I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
This is the prime rib incident all over again
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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