puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I am naked and annoyed.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
