yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
