what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
