Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
