going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
