You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
i came on her dog
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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