the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
