my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
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