Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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