Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
