closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
