Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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