Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
