Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
This baby is an asshole
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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